Dick Rod To Pull Another Disappearing Act?

November 26, 2008

Take this with several grains of salt because it involves something coming out Mark May’s mouth, but Mr. May himself was on some sports talk radio show yesterday suggesting that word on the street is that not only could Rich Rodriguez (aka “Dick Rod”) leave Michigan to take either the Tennessee or Clemson vacancies but that Michigan would actually help him to broker a deal with one of the aforementioned schools.

May’s reason for suggesting such a scenario basically sum down to the “wine and cheese crowd” at Michigan with their “Mercedes in the parking lots” who expect to win every year aren’t warming up to some guy with a southern drawl who changes the playcalling system and oversees the worst season in the program’s proud history.

May then goes on to suggest that Clemson fans would embrace Dick Rod because that’s where he was a well-liked offensive coordinator during the first couple years of the Tommy Bowden era before bolting to West Virginia to become their head coach.

Certainly, nothing that’s being said about Dick Rod should be considered “far-fetched” and I wouldn’t be as shocked as you think if such a rumor were to end up true.  Dick Rod isn’t exactly a well-liked figure amongst the Michigan fan base and his style and demeanor are a deep contrast from what the fans are used to.  That is usually not a good sign with a program for which winning is a birthright.  We could potentially have another Bill Callahan at Nebraska-type scenario playing out in Ann Arbor, unless Michigan’s athletic department decides to pave Dick Rod a path to Clemson or Tennessee.

Anyway, here’s the link to the aforementioned talk show appearance.  You’ll have to fast-forward to a little bit beyond the halfway mark before the Dick Rod talk begins.


Further Proof That Jersey Sucks.

November 17, 2008

Tonight’s opponent for the Fighting DeChellises: The New Jersey Institute Of Technology…Seriously? WTF? Who schedules this garbage?  Oh, that’s right, the dipshits who put together the “Philly Classic” field. Well, here’s a hearty FUCK YOU to you guys for giving us an opponent that’s only in their third season as a Division I team, can barely score over 30 points in a game, currently sports a 34-game losing streak (including an 0-29 season last year), and are about to suffer their 35th straight defeat tonight.

There’s not even a fucking line on this game, and with good reason. The Philly Classic committee might as well have invited ITT Tech’s intramural champions, at least I could stomach that better than a fake Division I basketball program.

Did I also mention their logo looks like something that was created in a “Basics of Anime Drawing” class? The logo’s probably more of a threat to come to life and launch a glowing fireball attack on Talor Battle than NJIT is to win this game.

There can only be one Highlander...And it's definitely not this piece of shit.

There can only be one Highlander..and this one falls way short of the mark.

Now, for those of you who like butt-rape: The game will be televised on Big Ten Network at 7 PM tonight. It’ll likely make for great background noise for *ahem* certain extracurricular activities you may be involved with.


Fun With Facebook Walls: Rich Rodriguez

October 12, 2008

Courtesy of Dick Rod’s facebook wall, after Michigan began an epic futility streak against the MAC conference with yesterday’s loss at home to Toledo.  The happy expressions in the profile pictures of the flaming posters just scream “unintentional comedy gold.”

If you also look carefully enough, you can see one person getting desperate enough to leap onto MARYLAND’s bandwagon..and I doubt it has anything to do with basketball.


Big Ten Blogger Roundtable (Celebrity Jeopardy Edition)

October 8, 2008
You didn't really think this roundtable would be devoid of "Celebrity Jeopardy" references, did you?

Looks like I picked the right week to jump back on the BTB Roundtable bandwagon as The Only Game That Matters (aka, the only Big Ten blogger without a favorite team who takes the easy way out and embraces them all) has come up with answers that we must address in the form of a question, much like “Jeopardy.”

Such a momentous occassion also gives Yours Truly free reign to squeeze in “SNL Celebrity Jeopardy” references wherever it might possibly fit.  You have been warned.

1)  Jay Paterno and the Spread HD

Q:  What is the latest sexual position done with Trebek’s mother?

2)  Joe Tiller’s Mustache

Q:  What is “BITCHIN’ TECHNOLOGY?”

Nicolas Cage is amused with Joe Tillers stache

Nicolas Cage is amused with Joe Tiller's 'stache

3)  The Color Purple

Q: What is a part of Lake The Post’s wet dreams?

4)  Brains

Q:  What is something Kirk Ferentz’s head should be checked for?

5)  Hawkeye State

Q:  What is a ‘state of panic?’

6)  Rudy

Q:  Who is a giant douche that managed to be the subject of an “inspiring film” about his lame-ass story of walking on to America’s most hated college football team and going from towel boy to getting a sack in his final home game despite being offsides?

7)  Knee Ligaments

Q:  What is something Joe Paterno lacks nowadays?

8 )  Terrelle Pryor

Q: Who is the only thing bigger than Turd Ferguson’s “oversized hat?”

Sorry Turd Ferguson, you’ve finally been “one-upped”

9)  Mark May

Q:  Who is ‘eating crow?’ (i.e. begrudgingly ranking Penn State in his Top 5)

Hows it taste, Mark?

How's it taste, Mark?

10)  Rich Rodriguez

Q: Who just invented the “Penis Mightier” and is sitting on a gold mine?

Dick Rod inventing the "Penis Mightier" who woulda thunk it?

Dick Rod inventing the"Penis Mightier." Who would've thought?

BONUS ANSWER:  11) Anal Bum Cover.

Q:  What is the next project Rich Rodriguez is working on?


Quick Thoughts On Marijuana-Gate

September 18, 2008

I figured I’d better comment on this, lest I be ignoring that “giant octopus at the dinner table.”

I’m glad that there’s finally been some closure in the drama involving Maurice Evans and Abe Koroma’s situations and that the charges were merely simple possession of a small amount of marijuana.  Some people on the message boards however, have been in meltdown over this development, citing that Judicial Affairs is really going to lay the hammer down on Mo and Abe with an explusion of sorts.

Folks, I may not be right on a lot of things but this much I can ASSURE you:  For the amount of pot the guys were charged with possessing and with this incident being their first offense ever, the worst thing that will happen is they get a couple semester’s worth of “disciplinary probation” along with the mandatory drug education classes.

The bigger concern should be: How much longer does JoePa hold them out?  Will they at least be dressed and seeing some action on the field come the Illinois game?  Will Joe wait until October sometime?  Surely, he’s not going to suspend them for the rest of the year given the lightness of the charges but at this point, who knows how many games Mo and Abe will be suspended for before Joe feels that they’ve suffered enough?

For everybody who has any affiliation with Penn State or its football program’s sake:  Let’s hope THIS is the end of the line with the legal problems that have plagued this program over the past 18 months…


Marijuana-Gate Update

September 3, 2008

Well, it appears new light has been shed regarding a police search of the apartment belonging to AJ Wallace, Maurice Evans, Abe Koroma, and *GASP* Andrew Quarless:

A “small amount” of marijuana was found in apartment 5204 after police responded last night to a report of loud music, Penn State Police Lt. Bill Moerschbacher said this morning.

Drug law charges will be filed soon, Moerschbacher said, adding police could not specifically say who might be charged in connection with the incident. He said police are still investigating to determine who had possession of the marijuana.

So, in retrospect, it doesn’t look as if the charges are going to be as serious as once thought. Nonetheless, I still envision some multi-game suspensions and if Quarless was responsible for this, perhaps even a dismissal from the program. Let’s just hope the suspensions don’t linger through the Illinois game…


GOD HATES NEBRASKA

August 22, 2008

According to our good friend, Fred Phelps…

I take it the douchebag got tired of picketing at military funerals?