We Have A New Address

December 19, 2008

It is my great pleasure to announce that I am now master of my domain at happyhourvalley.com

Please update your bookmarks accordingly.


Well, It’s Official…

December 8, 2008

Everybody who’s watching the Rose Bowl at home this year will snag themselves some major “eye candy.”

Also, stay tuned in the coming weeks for Yours Truly’s annual bowl extravaganza preview. This time, I’ll try and cover all 34 games in a way that doesn’t involve me going clinically insane…

All I Gotta Say Is…

October 12, 2008

Effin’ A!  Tonight we saw a PSU team make a statement to the college football nation that they are a force to be reckoned with and that it will take a Herculean effort to defeat them.  Our defense matured in front of our eyes and the Spread HD offense was alive and well, putting an end to message board talks of our coaching staff going down the typical conservative playcalling route in big road games such as tonight’s.

It’s also time we start recoginizng the fact that Daryll Clark is a “Leader” with a capital ‘L.’  The guy does not know the meaning of the word “quit” and even one minor screwup is cause for him to slam his fist on a trainer’s table in disgust.  These are qualities a team needs in its QB and was something we had sorely lacked the last couple of years.

I sure hope Michigan has plenty of lube on hand, because I envision them taking it squarely in the ass next weekend as PSU takes out 12 years worth of frustration on them.

Live Blog: Purdue Game

October 3, 2008

That’s right, folks: I’ve decided to give this live-blogging attempt another shot.  This time around though, I will be using the patented Cover It Live software which basically allows you, the viewer to chat with the host throughout the contest.

The blog is scheduled to open up at 12 PM ET Saturday so feel free to join in anytime.  After all, it’s a lot more fun to poke fun at the fact that Joe Tiller should be doing “diabeetus” commercials with others than it is by yourself.


Big Ten Blogger Pick ‘Em (Week 4)

September 19, 2008

Alright, you guys know the drill by now: I pick ’em, you read about ’em…I should also note that next week is when the real fun begins and the Big Ten teams start going against each other, increasing the stakes point-wise (3 points instead of 1 for every correct pick)and in the number of Big Ten Bloggers who get into verbal pissing matches.

Anyway, here as this week’s games (picks are highlighted in the school’s colors)

Ohio @ Northwestern – Ohio is no slouch, as evidenced from their gutsy performance against Ohio State a couple weeks ago.  However, the Wild Kitties will not be caught looking ahead to next week.

Florida Atlantic @ Minnesota – Purifying yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka isn’t nearly as attractive of a diversion as relaxing on the beach in Boca Raton with a pina colada in hand.

*Temple @ Penn St. –  How many licks does it take to get to the center of the Owls’ psyche?  Ask Buffalo QB Drew Willy.

*BTW, here’s a prediction for ya:  52-7 PSU.

Iowa @ Pitt – Hawkeyes has the defensive capability to make sure Pitt’s only offensive productivity comes from Shady McCoy.  Look for an offensive cripple fight to take place though, as neither team’s offense has impressed thus far against half-decent competition.

Central Michigan @ Purdue – Purdue nearly pulled the ultimate choke job of the 2007 bowl season, giving up a 21-point lead against Central Michigan in last December’s Motor City Bowl only to win on a field goal as time expired.  Central Michigan brings in a highly productive passing attack led by QB Dan LeFevour, the next hot QB prospect out of the MAC conference…I fully expect to see another barnburner here but don’t expect a more happy ending for Central Michigan.

Troy @ Ohio St. – For the third straight week, the Buckeyes will play without Beanie Wells and despite looking like garbage without him, are an inexplicable 21.5 point favorite over a Troy team that features a spread attack which ranks 11th in the nation in total offense.  If you’re a gambling man, you could make some good money on picking Troy to beat the spread.  That is, unless Terrelle Pryor sees a decent amount of playing time (which the word on the street is leaning towards).

Notre Dame @ Michigan St. –  The home team has not won this game since 2000.  Don’t look for that stat to change with a Notre Dame team playing with a newfound confidence despite beating up on a lousy Michigan squad last week and with Michigan State being susceptible to quality passing attacks (see: Cal).

Ball St @ Indiana – Ball St. is 12th in the nation throwing the ball, and 15th in total offense.  Expect nothing less than a good ol’ fashioned shootout at Memorial Stadium, with the Hoosiers barely coming out on top…

BTB Roundtable (Week 2)

September 3, 2008

Time for another 15 minutes of shooting the shit

Time for another 15 minutes of "shooting the shit"

For those of you wondering: But where the hell is “Week 1?” Well, there was no Week 1 because there were no volunteers to write the questions.  However, Black Heart Gold Pants has stepped up this week to give us some juicy post-opening weekend questions to answer so let’s have at it…

1.  Week 1’s in the books. What surprised you about your team? Are you optimistic? Disappointed? (NOTE: Purdue does not apply here, so these fans must talk about Wake Forest instead)

I was most pleasantly surprised with our QB play.  Granted, this was a FCS team we were facing, but Darryl Clark showed ability to remain in the pocket and make accurate, smart, passes.  This will only help to establish him as a true “dual threat” as it was obvious his coaches were deliberately not running him in order to keep him healthy for Oregon State this week.  Pat Devlin also looked very good throwing the ball, though his screen passes could use some work.  To be honest, I’m actually comfortable with either QB right now, and for some odd reason this tandem reminds me a lot of Ohio State’s dual-QB force of Stanley Jackson and Joe Germaine back in the 90’s.

As far as disappointments:  The defense definitely scares me.  Our secondary in particular looks like its going to get torched all season long unless we replace a few folks in the starting lineup.  Middle linebacker is also an issue as well, as somebody desperately needs to step up.  We may end up looking like most Pac-10 teams in that we’ll have to try and out-score our opponents to win games.

2. Beanie Wells’ foot is definitely the top story in the conference. What’s #2?

Here’s where the benefits of slacking on this roundtable pay off:  Had I written these answers yesterday, I wouldn’t have been able to talk about the players at Penn State that are likely to be cited for doing their best Cheech & Chong impersonations.

As of right now, they are merely being held out of practice but I have a feeling at least one of them is going to get the permanent boot.

3.  Admit it: you loathe DickFraudROFL (*né* Rich Rodriguez), but when Michigan scored that last touchdown, you were rooting for them to make the 2-pt. conversion.

I admit it:  I wanted Michigan to convert the 2-point conversion…Not because I wanted them to win, but because I just really, really, like OT games.

4.  Is this weekend’s slate of games actually *less* interesting than last week’s?

Dare I say: YES.  Aside from Oregon St-Penn St there really is no other intriguing matchup that doesn’t scream “lopsided win” for the Big Ten team except for Northwestern-Duke and Minnesota-Bowling Green.

5. Don’t you hate pants?

No, I just hate “Bad Idea” jeans.

Coastal Carolina Bullet-Points

September 3, 2008

Quick, on-the-spot, un-edited thoughts.  I apologize for the Nintendo game English and typos in advance.

  • Quarterbacks: Overall, a very solid bunch.  Granted, this was a FCS team we were going up against, but Darryl Clark, who was probably instructed NOT to run by his coaches, looked very poised and accurate throwing the ball which was relieving.  Pat Devlin also showed some great passing abilities.  Most importantly, neither QB has been chastised for misreading defenses or staring down on the primary receiver.
  • Running Backs: Stephfvan Roygreen (Evan Royster + Stephfon Green) was alive and well.  The combined tailback monster racked up 153 yards and 5 TDs on a mere 18 carries.  Lets us not forget however, Brent “I Wear The Same Number As Ki-Jana” Carter’s 73 yards on 9 carries, nor Chaz Powell’s or Brandon Beachum’s dashes to the end zone.  All systems are a “go” in this group
Stephfvan Roygreen eyes the next group of defenders to terrorize

"Stephfvan Roygreen" eyes the next group of defenders to terrorize

  • Wide Receivers/Tight Ends: Solid, as always.  Should be getting even more touches this year with short-passes being such a critical part of the Spread HD offense.  Look for D-Will to perhaps harken back to his days as an explosive frosh and then some.  Jordan Norwood also had a highlight-reel grab and redshirt-frosh Derek Moye was on the receiving end of Pat Devlin’s first collegiate pass completion.  The tight-ends were also very solid, Andrew Quarless should be able to work his way back into the starting lineup within a few games.  Overall, no complaints about this group.
  • Offensive Line: Some message board posters have criticized them for their run-blocking but I really didn’t notice because our running backs seemed to find daylight early and often.  Pass-blocking was nothing short of excellent as well.  It’s critical that we remain healthy here, as this line is a big reason why our running backs have large gaps to run through, why our QB’s have ample time to find an open receiver, and why people are whispering sentiments of 1994 with this year’s offense.


  • Defensive Line: Mo Evans didn’t really come up with any “wow” plays like he typically does.  Not that I’m fretting over that though, he’ll rise up to the competition when necessary.  All in all, the group looks strong as advertised, the concern though will be with staying healthy as we can ill-afford anymore catastrophic injuries (i.e. Devon Still).
  • Linebacker: Bani Gbadyu and Navorro Bowman stuck out the most to me.  Both are very athletic and capable of being playmakers.  The middle linebacker spot is in dire need of somebody to step up or we will be EXTREMELY susceptible to middle-of-the-field passes.  Josh Hull may have good fundamentals, but he lacks athleticism and talent.  In Hull’s defense though, Chris Colasanti didn’t do any better in his PT.  For now, I would suggest going with a lineup of Gbadyu and Bowman on the outside with Tyrell Sales manning the middle.
  • Secondary: My deepest concern with the team by far.  Mark Rubin needs to be pulled – immediately, he’s too slow and looks lost out there (and is partially to blame for the broken play that led to Coastal’s lone TD).  Lydell Sargeant also seems like a liability, hopefully AJ Wallace will get more PT over him from Oregon St. onward.  Scriotto an Davis seemed alright in coverage, so at least we have that.  Still though, I’m afraid we’re going to give up quite a few yards (and points) via opponents’ air raids.
  • Special Teams: Kevin Kelly booted a short field goal, keeping himself perfect for the year thus far.  Jeremy Boone had a couple nice punts as well, but then again, did we expect anything less from these guys?  The kickoff coverage seemed improved from last year, but I’ll hold off on any final assessment ’til we’ve faced some legit Division 1 programs.  One thing that does kick serious ass though is our return game:  Derrick Williams and AJ Wallace are both threats to take it the distance every time they get their hands on a punt or kickoff.