Talk About “S**tting The Bed”

December 6, 2008

basketballkid

How best to describe the Fighting DeChellises’ inexplicable letdown against Temple? As Dr. Cosby himself would put it, it was a bunch of filth, flarn, flarn, filth.

I should’ve known better than to have faith in this team being able to turn the corner coming off of a big road win. This one falls on ED as well as the players for coming into this game unprepared and out of sync in front of a crowd expecting big things. If you think these type of craptastic performances are going to go away when the Big Ten slate hits us, then I’ve got Eskimo villages in New York City to sell to you…

There’s barely a semblance of an inside game, particularly on the defensive end, and the backcourt becomes a hell of a lot weaker without Stanley Pringle in there.  Danny Morrissey is a streaky shooter whose performance depends on how many wide open looks he get, and tonight he got zero because Temple’s strategy involved locking down on him and rendering him useless.

This brings me to my next question, why is ED so reluctant to go to his bench when the situation is dire?  Could Woodyard and Babb done any worse out there?  If he’s actually relying on a 7-man rotation to carry him through the season then we’re in deeper shit than initially thought.

Garbage like this has become an all-too-familiar sight under ED and today’s game was yet another painful, glaring, piece of evidence as to why he’s not the man to take PSU basketball to the next level.


Well, It Was Fun While It Lasted…

November 8, 2008
Andrew Quarless butterfingers getting the best of him yet again

Game shot of Andrew Quarless dropping yet another easy pass

Alright, now that I’ve calmed down enough to the point where I’m not going to smash my laptop out of anger, it’s time to plow through the shit pile and offer my thoughts on another game that will go down in infamy with Michigan in ’05 and Minnesota in ’99.

  • Where the hell was the pass protection?  Granted, Clark made some bad throws today and it didn’t help with Hurricane Katrina wind-levels blowing around Kinnick Stadium, but I lost count how many times Clark was hurried or hit into making a lousy pass.  Iowa’s D-line could’ve very well set up camp in the backfield on pass plays because the protection was non-existent
  • What was up with the coaching?  Calling 3 straight pass plays into the wind on your opening drive?  Failing to use any of our 3 REMAINING TIMEOUTS with a minute to go in the ball game and Iowa setting up for a sure-fire field goal?  Did our staff trust D-Will to break a kickoff return for a TD more than they trusted Daryll Clark to lead a drive downfield?  And what about the “bend but don’t break” defense that worked wonders on Iowa’s final drive?  How many fucking 3rd and long passes did we give up in the second half?  Heads need to roll on the coaching staff…
  • Additionally, what was up with the execution?  Not being able to pound the ball into the end zone on Iowa’s 2-yard line in 4 tries?  Dropping easy catches?  Clark looking Morell-ian with his passing game?  Settling for field goals when all year long we’ve been picking up TDs in the red zone?  THAT’s how we lost the fucking game folks, if just one, JUST ONE of those 3 FG’s ends up being a TD, we win this game.  In the long run, FIELD GOALS DON’T DO JACK SHIT…Ask Wisconsin about their trip to Michigan earlier this year if you don’t believe me on that one.
  • We had TWO FUCKING WEEKS to prepare for this game, and we came out looking flat and uninspired in what was our final road game before returning to the friendly confines of Beaver Stadium.  Obviously, the coaching staff did not do a good enough job of reminding the players of the 1999 disaster and how you can’t waltz into a game this late in the year and NOT expect an opponent’s best shot.
  • These next two games will tell a lot about our team.  I still expect a win over Indiana, and it better not be close at all.  Michigan State though, worries the living shit out of me.  They have two weeks to get ready for us and they will be playing for a Big Ten championship when they come to Happy Valley. Did I also mention the fact last year’s meltdown in East Lansing is still fresh in my mind?  No lead will feel safe against MSU, I tell you.

Damned Gophers…

February 24, 2008

From DocSports.com (Where I get my lines for the basketball games):

Free Play. #532 Take Penn State +11 ½ over Minnesota (2:00 pm BTN) Yes this goes against the recent norm, but Penn State is getting too many points in this contest against a questionable Minnesota team that is still learning a new system.

New system? As Rants From The Districts was telling me when I was reading off the above excerpt to him, “new system” would simply translate into “not sucking” which is something the Gophers have been doing far more of than we have. I have little faith left in this team with regards to playing on the road and will be taking the Gophers to cover the spread thankyouverymuch. RFTD will be doing the same. This means we are going to remain tied in our contest as our records both stand at 8-6 this season.

I’d type more on my frustrations about this team’s inconsistency but I just can’t do it Captain…I doon’t…have…the powerrrr!


Meet The Spartans

February 2, 2008

As I’m writing this post, it’s 10 minutes to tip-off for the Fighting DeChellises against Michigan State.  We’re 10.5 point underdogs tonight, and after seeing us run out of gas the way we did against Ohio State, I don’t have much reason to believe we’re going to hang with MSU for even a half.  They’re #7 in the nation for a reason, they have balance all around.  Drew Neitzel is a floor general who can shoot the lights out of the ball, Raymar Morgan can flat-out score, and Goran Suton grabs boards (8.5 rpg) like nobody’s business.  This is going to get ugly fast:  Look for a lot of highlights such as from the video above on behalf of the Spartans.

Rants From The District and I are currently tied in our contest at 7-3, as we both correctly picked OSU to cover the spread last time.  There won’t be any tie-breaker for this game because we once again agree with each other:  MSU covers the spread.


Here Comes That Awful Feeling Again…

January 26, 2008

Vodpod videos no longer available.

No need to go into details about the abortion that was Wednesday Night’s basketball game against Purdue. It was dispicable on all levels to say the least and it reminded me all too much of the shellackings from middle-of-the-pack Big Ten teams we used to take on a regular basis during the final years of the Jerry Dunn era.

I’m done defending Ed DeChellis, the guy is no doubt a great guy and a great ambassador for PSU who loves his alma mater dearly, but unfortunately that hasn’t meant much as far as results on the court. While I feel the talent has been upgraded from the end of the JD era, the coaching still seems all too familiar from a crap-tastic standpoint. How many more times do we have to see a half-court offense that looks like it’s being run by a bunch of pickup players that just met five minutes ago? How many more times to we have to see quirky substitution patterns? (i.e. Mike Walker getting benched after one dumb mistake but Talor Battle gets kept in the game for as long as he wants, no matter how erratic he gets at times). How many more times to do we have to see a lack of fire/urgency in the the coaching staff and the players?  There is no excuse for any of this garbage continuing in Year 5, even with Geary Claxton gone.

Worst of all, how many more times do I have to hear one of our players complain that they’re “not having fun” out there? It feels like deja vu all over again…This program has hit a brick wall and with the lack of commitments from the current recruiting class I can only see things sliding backwards from here.

Iit’s time for Tim Curley to swallow his pride, admit the safe, “in the family” hire didn’t work, and shell out the cash for a known coach with a pedigree for winning, recruiting, and getting the most out of his players. This program needs a shot in the arm like nobody’s business…


Big Ten Power Rankings (Week 8)

November 7, 2007

Well, Anchors Aweigh! Congrats to Navy for ending their 43-year futility streak although one could certainly argue that ND lost because Charlie Weis is a fat arrogant fuck who would rather try and showcase his schematic brilliance by going for it on 4th down and long inside the Navy 25 yard line rather than kick the go-ahead field goal with a minute to play in the ball game, but I digress…

Congrats Lou Holtz on your astonishing 2-7 record this year in pep talks, your pep talk to Navy last Thursday night in the ESPN studio was just what the good doctor ordered to help end one of the longest losing streaks by one college football team against another…Can you say “book deal” and country-wide tour of grade schools and hospital cancer wards across the U.S.?

On second thought…How ’bout we scratch that cancer ward idea, lest you end up on this year’s “Most Frequent Causes of Death” list.

The mighty Holtzasaurus-Rex prepares to unleash his endless inspiration and toxic slobber over an unsuspecting audience

Enough of that though, time for this week’s Big Ten Power Rankings…

1. Ohio State (1) – Were in danger of becoming the latest victim of the most parity-filled college football season in recent memory…Until they had their Keith Hernandez moment and realized “We’re Ohio State, damn it!”

2. Michigan (2) – Chad Henne did a fine job rallying the troops from 10 points down at their “other” hated rivals (Michigan State) in the 4th quarter, but it was the rest of the Big Ten that had the last laugh when Henne ate concrete while prancing his way towards the locker room.

3. Illinois (4) – The “Juice” was loose Saturday night at Minnesota, as Juice Williams put on quite possibly his best performance of the year by passing for over 200 yards and running for well over a 100.

4. Penn State (5) – Did a nice job averting disaster against Purdue last Saturday and will be spending their bye week vacation in Philly.

5. Wisconsin (3) – From one quarter away from upsetting the #1 team in the nation to blowout victim: Talk about completing a collapse.

6. Purdue (6) – Hard to feel good about yourselves knowing that your only TD came on the the opening kickoff return and that your offense was a goalline punch away from going up 2 TDs in the first quarter, only to have it stripped away by Sean Lee.

7. Iowa (7) – For the second week in a row, the Hawkeyes managed to rally their way back from a 2 TD hole. This time they had to do it in a “hostile environment” at Northwestern.

8. Indiana (8) – It took them 14 years to do so, but the Hoosier football program finally sank the bismarck and will likely be bowling sometime in December. Congratulations.

9. Michigan State (10) – I’m bumping them up simply because they bounced back from an early defecit against Michigan to take the lead…only to blow it in the 4th quarter in typical Sparty fashion. I would add more but Michigan blogger M Go Blog sums up perfectly the creature that is Michigan State football.

10. Northwestern (9) – The Wild Kitties are still looking for that elusive 6th win and subsequent bowl eligibility and they’re going to have to get it in one of their two remaining challenges against Indiana and Illinois


Northwestern could sure use a pep-talk from the “most effectual” Top Cat. At least he’s not Lou Holtz…

11. Minnesota (11) – Hey Tom Dienhart, still giddy about Tim Brewster running that shit show up in Minneapolis?


You Know Notre Dame Sucks When…

October 20, 2007

SNL features them in one of its mock commercials.  Perhaps I should make a concerted effort to start watching the show again?


Monday, Monday…

October 8, 2007

Well, it sure feels good to finally win again, especially after looking like pure shit in back-to-back road games. And believe it or not, it seems things have taken a turn for the better on the field as we finally have a running game again, thanks to Evan Royster and Rodney Kinlaw. Kinlaw struggled early, fumbling on PSU’s opening drive but redeemed himself in the 2nd half when Royster went out with an injury to his thigh and went on to garner 168 yards rushing on 28 carries.

I want to focus more on the former though: I find it sad that it took Austin Scott getting kicked off the team in order for Evan Royster to get a legit shot at proving himself on the field. He sure did not disappoint, rushing for 88 yards on 16 carries. What really impressed me about Royster was his ability to just lower the shoulder and burst through the blocking holes while dragging defenders along with him, he’s a real North-South runner in the mold of Tony Hunt, one who just pounds away while tiring out opposing defenses throughout the game. It makes me cringe at the blind loyalty our coaching staff shows to seniors who routinely fumble the ball away while talented youngsters like Royster sit on the bench. No matter though, as I suddenly have a lot more hope for us against Wisconsin. Hell, oddsmakers seem to feel the same way too, as we are currently a 6.5 point favorite on Yahoo’s College Pick ‘Em.

Evan Royster: Coming To An Unprepared Defense Near You.

A Few More Thoughts on this past weekend:

  • While I’m definitely more optimistic than last week, I’m still keeping level-headed regarding the outcome of our season. Iowa is a terrible, terrible, team that not only is depleted due to injuries/suspensions, but lacks talent in key positions, particularly on offense. Their offense performed like a bunch of kids randomly assigned to a flag football team in gym class that had never played before, Jake Christensen mis-fired on his throws early and often, and the running game struggled to find holes to go through. We’ll find out a little more about ourselves when Wisconsin comes to town this weekend.
  • We got the best of both Morellis: There was the Morelli who avoided sacks, planted his feet, and let it fly about 60 yards downfield for a completion and slew together a string of consecutive brilliant passes and then there was the Morelli we’ve all come to know and accept, throwing INTs on back-to-back drives, the latter being one of the more idiotic decisions I can recall him ever making by trying to force a throw when he was in the process of being sacked. I should remind you at that point, we were ahead by 13 points with 8 minutes left, simply trying to milk some clock and maintain possession, absolutely no need to be forcing throws like that, just take the goddamn sack. This did lead to a unintentionally humorous moment however, when the student section cheered Morelli for throwing the ball away during the drive that would put us up 27-7, sticking the final nail in Iowa’s birdhouse.
  • Chris Bell’s wide-open drop was inexcusable but I’ll give him a pass because: (1) Anyone who has played football at any level (whether it be backyard two-hand touch, flag, pee-wee, high school, etc.) has likely fucked up on a freebie at some point in their careers and (2) Watching the replay on TV, it seemed to me that Bell was already concentrating on what kind of end zone celebration he would do to commemorate losing his TD virginity and forgot that he needed to secure the ball first.
  • Dan Connor and Sean Lee: Can you find a more brilliant linebacking tandem college football right now? Also, I’m still waiting for the student section to begin chanting Sean Lee’s name like Chong Li in Bloodsport everytime he makes a brilliant play.
  • I also can’t talk about this past weekend without addressing the never-ending parity that seems to have struck every weekend thus far this season: Appalachian State’s upset will not be topped, but USC’s unexplainable loss to the Stanford Tree-Huggers came pretty face-slappingly close.
  • Hey, Mike Hart: It looks like Jim “He’s Not a Michigan Man. I wish he’d never played here.” Harbaugh has done something your team has failed to do in a long time: beat USC.


You know how Mikey likes it…

  • On paper, Wisconsin losing to Illinois seems like a monumental upset but in reality the Badgers were a team on borrowed time. Their defense is extremely vulnerable to the ground game and their offense consists of one strategy: feed the ball to PJ Hill.
  • The two biggest coaches (literally) also garnered key wins, as Mark Mangino’s Kansas squad remained undefeated with an upset over a “hello, goodbye” Top 25 team in Kansas State and Charlie Weis’ Fightin’ Irish pulled a stunning 20-6 upset at UCLA, launching the Bruins into the running for the “Bo Pelini Sweepstakes.”


It’s not too often that both these coaches manage to snag bigger wins than their Body Mass Indexes.

  • The one team that managed to emerge from this clusterfuck of a weekend unscathed was #1 LSU, and even they came damn close to being an upset victim. Luckily for the Tigers, Les Miles has giant, squirrel-sized balls. How else do you explain going 5-for-5 on 4th down conversions (including one with LSU down by only a field goal late in the game and inside Florida’s 10 yard line.)

les-miles-nuts.JPG

If you thought I had a lot on my mind in this entry, just wait until tomorrow’s Big Ten Power Rankings. In the meantime, it’s back to work I go…