Big Ten Power Rankings (Week 8)

Well, Anchors Aweigh! Congrats to Navy for ending their 43-year futility streak although one could certainly argue that ND lost because Charlie Weis is a fat arrogant fuck who would rather try and showcase his schematic brilliance by going for it on 4th down and long inside the Navy 25 yard line rather than kick the go-ahead field goal with a minute to play in the ball game, but I digress…

Congrats Lou Holtz on your astonishing 2-7 record this year in pep talks, your pep talk to Navy last Thursday night in the ESPN studio was just what the good doctor ordered to help end one of the longest losing streaks by one college football team against another…Can you say “book deal” and country-wide tour of grade schools and hospital cancer wards across the U.S.?

On second thought…How ’bout we scratch that cancer ward idea, lest you end up on this year’s “Most Frequent Causes of Death” list.

The mighty Holtzasaurus-Rex prepares to unleash his endless inspiration and toxic slobber over an unsuspecting audience

Enough of that though, time for this week’s Big Ten Power Rankings…

1. Ohio State (1) – Were in danger of becoming the latest victim of the most parity-filled college football season in recent memory…Until they had their Keith Hernandez moment and realized “We’re Ohio State, damn it!”

2. Michigan (2) – Chad Henne did a fine job rallying the troops from 10 points down at their “other” hated rivals (Michigan State) in the 4th quarter, but it was the rest of the Big Ten that had the last laugh when Henne ate concrete while prancing his way towards the locker room.

3. Illinois (4) – The “Juice” was loose Saturday night at Minnesota, as Juice Williams put on quite possibly his best performance of the year by passing for over 200 yards and running for well over a 100.

4. Penn State (5) – Did a nice job averting disaster against Purdue last Saturday and will be spending their bye week vacation in Philly.

5. Wisconsin (3) – From one quarter away from upsetting the #1 team in the nation to blowout victim: Talk about completing a collapse.

6. Purdue (6) – Hard to feel good about yourselves knowing that your only TD came on the the opening kickoff return and that your offense was a goalline punch away from going up 2 TDs in the first quarter, only to have it stripped away by Sean Lee.

7. Iowa (7) – For the second week in a row, the Hawkeyes managed to rally their way back from a 2 TD hole. This time they had to do it in a “hostile environment” at Northwestern.

8. Indiana (8) – It took them 14 years to do so, but the Hoosier football program finally sank the bismarck and will likely be bowling sometime in December. Congratulations.

9. Michigan State (10) – I’m bumping them up simply because they bounced back from an early defecit against Michigan to take the lead…only to blow it in the 4th quarter in typical Sparty fashion. I would add more but Michigan blogger M Go Blog sums up perfectly the creature that is Michigan State football.

10. Northwestern (9) – The Wild Kitties are still looking for that elusive 6th win and subsequent bowl eligibility and they’re going to have to get it in one of their two remaining challenges against Indiana and Illinois


Northwestern could sure use a pep-talk from the “most effectual” Top Cat. At least he’s not Lou Holtz…

11. Minnesota (11) – Hey Tom Dienhart, still giddy about Tim Brewster running that shit show up in Minneapolis?

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