Michigan Late Night Bullet-Points

How's it taste, Dick Rod?

How's it taste, Dick Rod?

Yeah, it’s late (past 2 AM here in State College) and I will probably pass out the moment I shut my eyes for more than a few seconds but I feel the need to get a few things off my chest:

  • Everything that could possibly go wrong, did go wrong, and I’m not just talking about Clark’s fumble, Kelly’s kick hitting the goal post, or PSU’s run defense magically disappearing.  The bad omens were plenty visible during pre-game when the “Blue Sapphires” baton twirler dropped her baton and the drum major fell flat on his ass during his first flip.
  • The team faced more than its share of adversity, trailing by 10 points in the first half and trailing at halftime for the first time this season.  This could very well pay off in the long run because it likely brought our players back down to Earth and made them realize that just because they sport a #3 ranking and are putting up mad stats doesn’t mean that opponents are going to suddenly bow and worship us, they have to bring their A-game every week or they will find themselves on the “no fun” end of an ass-whooping.  Look for a more focused team to show up to Columbus next weekend.
  • Words cannot describe how goddamn frustrating it was to see Brandon Minor and Steven Threet run in the same fucking directions (up the middle and off tackle, respectively) over and over again and yet continued to pick up hefty chunks of yardage.  It took a couple personnel changes (i.e. substituting Josh Hull and Tyrell Sales out for Michael Mauti and Bani Gbadyu) before we finally put an end to their shenanigans
  • Nick Sheridan is every opposing defense’s gift from the football gods:  The kid wasn’t even good enough to start at QB for his HIGH SCHOOL team and he’s the second string QB at THE University of Michigan?  This would be the equivalent of JayPa seeing significant playing time during his days as a PSU QB.  Needless to say, Sheridan looked every bit like the high school bench warmer that he is by allowing us to get a momentum-shifting safety that allegedly prompted Dick Rod to grab him by the collar and start calling him a “dumb motherfucker.”
  • To be fair to Sheridan though, Steven Threet didn’t fare any better when he was put back in to replace Sheridan and subsequently committed the much-awaited for costly fumble that Michigan has given up in every game this year.
  • Note to the coaching staff: STEPFHON GREEN IS NOT EVAN ROYSTER.  The kid is not made to run up the middle every fucking time, his strengths lie in off tackle runs and screen passes.
  • Speaking of Stepfhon Green and screen passes: I have to wonder how many people in Vegas were slamming their drinks on the table in disgust and screaming at the televisions when Green scored on that 80-yard screen pass late in the game to push PSU’s lead from 22 to 29, covering the 24-point PSU spread in the process…
  • It’s also quite apparent that Dick Rod has no idea how to play with a lead.  I’ve lost count of how many times this season I’ve seen Michigan jump out to a quick start and lead by 10, only to completely shut down and end up suffering a thorough beating.  I realize he doesn’t have his type of players yet to fit his system, but one has to wonder if he is the kind of guy Michigan will be able to count on to get it done in the clutch because he sure as hell couldn’t get it done with all his uber-talented West Virginia teams in a far weaker Big East conference.  Something tells me that Dick Rod is going to become the Big Ten’s next John Cooper (and even more of an ass, if you can imagine that).

More related than one may think…

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3 Responses to Michigan Late Night Bullet-Points

  1. El Caballo de Sangre says:

    Are you serious about the “dumb motherfucker” thing? Is there a link to this “alleged” thing? I’m not challenging you on it; I’m serious – I want a link because I think it’s the best thing ever, because I think you’re right about the whole DickRod = Coop thing. I suffered all 13 years with Cooper who was an amoral dick that just didn’t “get it” – “it” being whatever it is that’s supposed to be special about a given college football program. Sounds a lot like DickRod it you ask me…and part of the proof, trivial as it is, is those ugly-ass MAC-style away jerseys he’s letting them wear. They’re gonna just be sadder and sadder as the enormity of the mistake they’ve made in not getting Miles (who was totally gettable if they hadn’t fucked it up) becomes clear.

    So, link please, or at least a point in the direction where you heard that.

    Have fun as your dreams come crashing down next weekend in Columbus! 🙂

  2. Link is now up. Note that I said “allegedly” because it is simply message board fodder (and juicy one at that).

  3. El Caballo de Sangre says:

    That’s why I said “alleged” too, because you did.

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