This Just In: NBC Likes Sodomy

Well, it’s official: NBC will continue to be known unofficially as the “Notre Dame Broadcasting Channel” for another 7 years, thanks to an extension of their current contract with the Fightin’ Irish.

NBC Sports chairman Dick Ebersol said the network doesn’t look at year-to-year results when it comes to Notre Dame, calling the football program a premier brand that defines the network as much as the Olympics, the NFL and the U.S. Open golf championship.
“We’re big believers in how Notre Dame time and time again over all these generations has maintained its strength,” he said. “I don’t see that going away.”

Financial terms of the contract were not disclosed, although Ebersol said the contract is a flat fee and not based on ratings. The current contract that expires in 2010 is reported to be worth $9 million a year.

Ebersol said the important thing for Notre Dame, which hasn’t won a national championship since 1988, is to be in the race to be a top 10 team in most years “for it to be a wildly successful arrangement.”

“We go into this thinking that if the vast majority of the years has Notre Dame competitive in that top 10 or for that top 10 through the majority of the season, then we’ll be very happy,” he said.

The Irish have finished the season ranked 10th or higher just three times in the 17 years its home games have been televised on NBC — No. 4 in 1992, No. 2 in 1993 and No. 9 in 2005. They have finished ranked in the Top 25 in seven other seasons and finished .500 or worse five times.

Well Mr. Ebersol, if it’s mediocrity you want, it’s mediocrity you’ll get. I guess that’s why your network has lost out over the years on college football (sans ND), college basketball, the NBA (along with the greatest theme song in sports history), the NFL (sans Sunday night games and the Super Bowl), and MLB. When the greatest things your network can boast are coverage of a quadrennial sporting event like the Olympics, you know you’ve stooped to new lows.

Might I suggest taking a page from ABC’s Saturday Night Football promos when coming up with your own commercials for this football season?

Did I also neglect to mention that NBC won’t be getting any primetime lovin’ from ND?

“We just feel it’s very disruptive for our students, for the academic life at the university to have a game at night,” (ND president, Reverend) Jenkins said. “NBC has always been accommodating to us on that even though their viewership increases as the game gets later.”

Talk about a school that cares: I can’t blame them for not wanting to ruin their student body’s Saturday nights full of book reading, problem solving, and group project meetings by having 8 PM kickoffs.

I would comment even more on this breaking news but the weekend has arrived which means…NOW’S ZE TIME ON SHPROCKETS VHEN VE DANCE!

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