Lies and The Lying Liars Who Spread Them on Message Boards

As many of you Penn Staters might know, there’s been “rumors on the internets” circulating out there on the scale level of the Barack Obama e-mail lies. Such rumors appear to relish in the task of pointing out all the legal problems Penn State football has faced since 2002.

Why start with 2002? I don’t know, either this list was put together in 2007 and was meant to highlight PSU’s problems over the past 5 years or the anonymous person (from what I’ve heard, it’s a Pitt fan with an axe to grind) who put this list together decided that 2002 was as far back as he/she needed to go in order to try and pathetically label PSU as a “thug program.”

Well, “mission accomplished” pal: ESPN’s “Outside The Lines” is set to do a flaming bag of dog poo story on these incidents in an effort to emphasize that PSU lacks institutional control.

Anyway, here’s the said list in its entirety:

PENN STATE PLAYERS ARRESTED SINCE 2002

1. Maurice Humphrey – Arrest, Assault & Prison – Guilty

2. Maurice Humphrey – Probation Violation – Guilty

3. Maurice Humphrey – Fake ID Probation Violation – Guilty

4. Tyler Reed – Drunk in Public Summary Charge – Guilty

5. Andrew Richardson – Drunk in Public Summary Charge – Guilty

6. Rashard Casey – Arrest, Assault, – Dismissed

7. Anwar Phillips – Arrest, Assault, – Dismissed

8. T.C. Cosby – Arrest, Assault, – Acquitted

9. Michael Robinson – Ice-Rink Fight – Summary Charge

10. Lavon Chisley – Arrest, Sexual Assault, – Dismissed

11. Paul Jefferson – Drunk In Public Summary Charge – Guilty

12. Ed Johnson – Ice-rink fight Summary Charge – Guilty

13. Matthew Rice – Ice-rink fight – Summary Charge – Guilty

14. John Bronson, Arrest, Assault – Dismissed

15. Jeremy Kapinos – Drunk in public – Summary Charge

16. Tom McHugh – Hitting a woman – Summary Charge

17. Tony Johnson – Arrest, DUI – Guilty

18. Richard Cheek – Arrest, Stolen Credit Card – Guilty

19. Yaacov Yisreal – DUI – Guilty

20. Dan Drogan – DUI Leaving Accident – Guilty

21. Dethrell Garcia – DUI – Guilty

22. Scott Paxson – Criminal Mischief, Summary Charge – Guilty

23. E.Z. Smith – Drunk in public – Summary Charge – Guilty

24. R.J. Luke – Arrest Assault – Acquitted

25. Damone Jones – Unknown Charges – Dismissed From School

26. Mike Sothern – Terroristic Disorderly Criminal Mischief – Guilty

27. Mike Sothern – Criminal Mischief Expelled – Guilty

28. EZ Smith – Criminal Mischief Summary Charge – Guilty

29. Scott Paxson – Criminal Mischief Summary Charge – Guilty

30. Tyler Reed – Criminal Mischief Summary Charge – Guilty

31. Andrew Richardson – Criminal Mischief Summary Charge – Guilty

32. Ed Johnson – Sexual Misconduct Arrest – Guilty

34. Dan Connor – Criminal Mischief Phone Summary Charge – Guilty

35. Nolan MCready – Criminal Mischief Phone Summary Charge – Guilty

36. Jim Kanuch – Criminal Mischief Summary Phone Charge – Guilty

37. Paul Cronin – Drunk In Public Summary Charge – Guilty

38. Scott Paxson – Sexual Assault & Aggravated Indecent Charge – Guilty

39. Francis Claude – Arrest At Bar Disorderly Conduct – Guilty

40. Ed Johnson – Failed Drug Test Condition of Parole – Guilty

41. Lavon Chisley – Murder Charge – Guilty Life Sentence

42. Anthony P. Scirrotto – Burglary, criminal trespass, criminal solicitation, simple assault, harassment. – Trial Pending

43. Chris I. Baker – Burglary, criminal trespass criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment.

44. Jerome A. Hayes – Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. – Dismissed

45. Justin King – Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. – Dismissed

46. Tyrell A. Sales – Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment – Dismissed

47. Lydell R. Sargeant – Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment – Dismissed

48. Andrew Quarless – Underage Drinking – Guilty

49. Willie Harriot – Underage Drinking – Guilty

50. Austin Scott – Rape, Drugs – Trial

51. Joe Suhey – Underage Drinking – Guilty

52. Ryan Breen – Underage Drinking – Guilty,

53. Joe Paterno – Road Rage – No Charges

54. Chris Baker – Felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, – Pending.

55. Navarro Bowman – Felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, – Pending.

56. Knowledge Timmons – Disorderly conduct and defiant trespass – Pending

57. Tyrell Sales – Under age drinking 2008 – Pending

58. Chris Bell Dismissed from the team off the field issues and academics

59. Phillip Taylor Dismissed from the team off the field issues and academics

60. Andrew Quarless Suspended, charged with DUI.

61. Chris Bell Dismissed from the team for threatening a teammate with a knife in team dining room.

On paper, it’s quite the lengthy rap sheet, one that rivals Barry Switzer’s Oklahoma Sooners and Jimmy Johnson/Dennis Erickson’s Miami Hurricanes of the 1980’s/early 90’s…Little do people realize however, just how un-truthy and liarific this list truly is.

Luckily for us, our Chief Legal Correspondent: Run Up The Score, has done countless hours of research via google to set facts straight and clean up all the bullshit…much like the way in which George Carlin reduced the Ten Commandments down to only two.

Click here to read all about it

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2 Responses to Lies and The Lying Liars Who Spread Them on Message Boards

  1. Finally, someone compares me to my idol.

  2. I never realized Al Franken was your idol 😉

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