EDSBS has updated the Fulmer Cup standings, and right now PSU is tied for 3rd with 14 points thanks to a double dose of DUI courtesy of one Andrew Quarless:
Penn State hath six points assessed for young knave Andrew Quarless, who hath racked up two DUI charges, a traffic violation, and underage drinking. Wine hath been said to be fine, but liquor is quicker both for effect and for racking up FC points. It has been judged–walk in a straight, unwaveringly line away, young man.
Currently, Missouri is the leader in the cup standings with 21 points, followed by West Virginia with 15. No doubt, we’re in striking distance of the top spot, not to mention there’s still that .0000001 % chance that we could wake up one morning and find out that someone on the team is actually an FLDS church member who’s been secretly running a polygamist ranch somewhere in (insert bumblefuck town that surrounds State College here) which would probably equate to “Rape (4 points) times Infinity” according to the Fulmer Cup scoring system