These Three Things I KNOW Are True (Hockey? For Real?)

1. I’m no hockey fan by any means, in fact, I could care less for the sport (aside from the fighting and the “Miracle on Ice”) and didn’t shed a single tear during the 2004-05 NHL lockout. However, I couldn’t help but be glued to the TV set, watching the Penguins pull out a critical “W” over the Red Wings in 3 OTs. Call me cruel, but one of the more amusing sights in sports for me is seeing a team that’s on the cusp of elimination (i.e. The Penguins, down 3 games to 1) silence a home crowd (i.e. Red Wings) that is anticipating the celebration of a championship-clinching win on their home turf.

Perhaps even more atonishing was the fact that I was in the middle of watching the latest “Rambo” film that I had rented from my local Blockbuster when I stopped to watch a game which I normally would not have given two shits about. That’s right, I pre-empted watching Burmese soldiers’ heads explode from sniper bullets in order to watch the Penguins goalie, Marc-Andre Fleury catch sniper-caliber shots from Red Wings players with his trusty glove in hand.

Only a Sly Stallone headlock would’ve prevented HHV from ditching Rambo to watch the end of last night’s hockey game

2. Upon further investigative work by Black Shoe Diaries, it can be confirmed that Lewis Preston is in fact, the greatest assistant coach hire in Penn State basketball history.

A job well done, BSD! And for your fine work, you get yourself a Carmen Sandiego watch, courtesy of the Chief at Acme Crimenet.


A recent thread on the FOS message board regarding the current ultra-corny Penn State commercial (video, above) got me thinking: If there is indeed such a place as a “Hell”, it would involve the aforementioned commercial, plus the previous PSU commercial before that (it aired during the “dark years” of football and had that annoying “baaaaby everything’s gonna be alllriiiieiiiite!” thrown in for an extra dose of cheeseballs) played back-to-back on a permanent repeat.

However, since I’ve been unable to find the older PSU commercial, we’ll have to replace it with Appalachian State’s commercial, which I can assure you, holds it own weight in corniness.

Yep, these are the things I think about during a slow news day…


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