BCS: Prepare To Get Screwed By The Big Unit Of Congress

WASHINGTON — Forget government corruption or corporate fraud. Three members of Congress want the Justice Department to investigate whether college football’s Bowl Championship Series is an illegal enterprise.

While we’re at it, let’s also forget the fact that we’re mired in an endless “War in Iraq” or the fact that the economy continues to tumble down the recession rabbit hole, or the fact that Osama Bin Laden still hasn’t been captured over 6 years later (so much for waiting for his kidney dialysis machine to go kaput while he watches ‘Kojak’ reruns inside his cave):

Congress has far more pressing issues such as bringing down the big bully that is the BCS, and encouraging Division I-A college football (err…FBS is it now? Hey, that’s a fitting new name, the ‘B.S.’ part at least) to be like all the other sports leagues in America and adopt a playoff system.

Reps. Neil Abercrombie (D-Hawaii), Lynn Westmoreland (R-Ga.) and Mike Simpson (R-Idaho) are introducing a resolution rejecting the oft-criticized bowl system as an illegal restriction on trade because only the largest universities compete in most of the major bowl games. The resolution would require Justice’s antitrust division to investigate whether the system violates federal law.

You know this thing stands a fighting chance because one of the Congressmen leading the charge of this noble cause (Neil Abercrombie) is a person who at age 69, can still bench-press over 200 lbs more than his age and has no qualms about sporting the “Big Lebowski with a drinking problem” look.

It’s over BCS, the bums lost! Make way for Neil Abercrombie and his “Little Abercrombie Urban Fitches”

Here’s a really odd piece of information though that makes you wonder what value (if any) it adds to the article.

Westmoreland and Abercrombie said they started talking about the resolution after that game, as Abercrombie was paying off a bet with chocolate-covered macadamia nuts.

ESPN taking secret potshots at Abercrombie’s weight? Oh no they did-ant…Or is “chocolate-covered macadamia nuts” just the latest “buzz word” used amongst fellow Congressmen to signify “money?” (as in the hundreds of dollars in cash Abercrombie lost as a result of picking Duke to win the national title in his March Madness pool)

Speaking of March Madness…

“We shouldn’t have to argue about who the champion is,” Westmoreland said, citing the excitement and unpredictability of the NCAA college basketball tournament. “That should be decided on the field.”

You’re goddamn right it should be, even though the Congressmen bringing about this investigation are all from states whose programs got it in the ass from the BCS (Hawaii, Boise State, and Georgia), any challenge to the BCS is welcome, it is a computerized clusterfuck that needs to go the way of the 8-track player.

In the meantime, Lynn Westmoreland had better brush up on his “Ten Commandments” trivia…


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