These Three Things I KNOW Are True (Selection Sunday Edition)

  1. J.A. Adande has been smoking too much peyote: NBA regular season games over March Madness? “Blasphemy!” I say. Not even Bill Simmons would dare to write such a column, even though he likely feels that way deep down inside, these are thoughts that you’re better off keeping to yourself…Much like being 30 and coveting high school-aged girls.
  2. While all of you hoop-heads are endlessly analyzing and agonizing over your picks for the next four days like Ace Ventura trying to link “Finkle and Einhorn”, wondering whether you don’t have enough directional schools in your Sweet 16 or whether your Final Four has too many #1 seeds, just remember one thing: You have a better chance of bringing a stripper home than you do winning your office pool Probably just as effective as statistical analysis
  3. This year’s tournament cannot possibly be as boring as last year’s. Aside from the lack of Cinderellas and the plethora of anti-climactic finishes, the tournament was missing it’s “voice of the first four rounds” as the geniuses at CBS decided to cut Gus Johnson’s announcing duties in half last March, having him do only the first two rounds. But I have good news for you: The geniuses at CBS have a soul.
  4. Okay, I’m cheating here but for those of you who don’t know who Gus Johnson is (gasp!). Here’s a little “Gus-tage” for you:

You’re welcome…And a Merry Selection Sunday to you too.


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