Go Go Gadget Beatbox!

January 15, 2008

This video alone makes me want to pick up and learn what has long been stereotyped as a rather feminine instrument…


Crank That, Ryan-Boy …

January 15, 2008

Tomorrow night, the Fighting DeChellises will have to pick up the pieces and try to pull off the mother of all Big Ten upsets (okay, it’s going to be difficult to top Iowa upsetting Michigan State, but I digress.) when they host Wisconsin and their newly armed soulja boy of a coach in Bo Ryan. Right now the Badgers are favored by 5 points according to most sports betting sites, so Rants From The District and I are going to work with that number.

Thanks to the whole team playing as if they all attended “The Shaquille O’Neal School Of Free Throw Shooting” , we managed to find a new way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory against Minnesota, ruining my perfect record in the contest. Speaking of which, here’s an update on our records:

Happy Hour Valley 5-1

Rants From The District 4-2

As for the game: While I don’t think we’re headed for a tailspin despite our great collapse against Minnesota, I don’t see us getting back on the winning track in this one. I think we will make a game out of it, but in the end Wisconsin’s ability to rebound on the defensive end and cause turnovers will spell doom for us. Plus, did I neglect to mention their shooting guard, Michael Flowers, nailed a game-winning three on the road at Texas?  Wowzers!  Talk about ice water in the veins…

I’m taking the Badgers to not only win, but to cover the spread in doing so…End of story.


Next…On The Season Finale of “The Blue and White Roundtable”

January 14, 2008

I realize everyone else has gotten their answers up for this already, but I figured “better late than never.”

Thanks to Black Shoe Diaries and William F. Yurasko for the questions:

Let’s start off with a positive note. When you look back on the 2007 season five or ten years from now, what will be your fondest memory? It doesn’t necessarily have to be Penn State related.

I’d probably have an easier time finding a greatest moment from The Chevy Chase Show than to find a pleasant memory from this season…And since I’m feeling like a total jackass today, I’m going to say Austin Scott getting booted off the team: It helped spawn the beast that PSU bloggers everywhere refer to as “Rodan Kinster.”

Even Chevy Chase’s short-lived talk show was more pleasant to watch than the 2007 Nittany Lions

What should the Big Ten conference consider as its highest priority this off season?

Reach an agreement with Comcast…Oh yeah, and I heard something about an officiating problem…That’s kinda new to me, I guess we’ll have to look into that as well.

Clark or Devlin? Whose camp are you in and why?

Whichever one can best ignore the sagely advice of the guy pictured below.


Which position not including quarterback is your biggest concern looking ahead to 2008?

I’ll make things interesting and say tailback. Evan Royster is the only proven guy we have returning (no thanks to our coaching staff who only played Royster when Austin Scott got himself in trouble for the last time) and while I’ve read plenty of glowing reports on Stephfhfon Green (might as well add another “hf” in his first name to make it sound more badass), he has yet to show us anything in a game that actually counts in the standings. We’ve also heard great things about Brandon Beachum and Michael Shaw but again, they’ve proven nothing on a collegiate football field so everything we hear about them is merely talk.

I would also like to see Brent Carter become a key backup as he showed some promise on that final drive against MSU before the Paternos decided to try and make Morelli the hero for once in his life. Plus, Carter wears #32, the same number another famous tailback with the last name Carter once wore.

Lightning Round

Who is the early favorite to win the Big Ten in 2008?

I would say Illinois, but they’re losing some key players including linebacker J. Leman and most importantly, tailback Rashard Mendenhall. Michigan will go through a transition year under Dick-Rod unless Terrelle Pryor goes to Ann Arbor, then we’re all screwed. Until that day comes though, it’s OSU by default.

How many Fulmer Cup points for Penn State this summer?

I’m gonna put the over/under at 10. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s one fight involving three players (2 points for each player involved) that you can expect to take place anywhere between now and April, one DUI (2 points), and two underage drinking citations (1 point each).

Now that the offseason has begun, what will you keep your mind occupied with until fall practice?

I’m a college hoops junkie myself and ever since Monday night’s BCS championship ended, my sports focus has shifted to the hardwood. I’ll also watch some of the NFL playoffs, though the NFL just seems to grow less appealing to me with each passing year…Particularly the over-hyped, rarely satisfying, commercialized clusterfuck known as the “Super Bowl.”

This will then be followed by March Madness (my most favorite postseason sporting event), the NBA playoffs and thankfully, the return of the Olympics because I’m not much of a baseball guy. I might even take a peek at the Euro 2008 soccer tourney, since ESPN/ABC will be televising every single match.


Choking On The Splinters

January 13, 2008

How do you piss off an entire fan base? Make less than 50% of your free throws (17 of 36) while swiftly blowing a 16-point 2nd half lead. Goddamn, this loss to Minnesota hurts about as much as any football loss, it probably hurts even more than when we lost to them two years ago after pulling off a then-monumental upset at Top 10 Illinois, and that’s saying something…

Here’s the entire recap of the game courtesy of GoPSUSports.com, since I’m too pissed off to write anymore: Read At Your Own Risk

In the meantime, I’m going to take myself out with a double barrel buckshot…


Here Gopher, Gopher, Gopher…

January 12, 2008

It’s close to 4 AM, and I’m buzzing like a celebrity in Studio 54 so I’ll keep this short…You can also check out a Minnesota blogger’s preview of this game at Paging Jim Shikenjanski

PSU is a 2-point favorite tomorrow against Minnesota (2 PM ET, Big Ten Network). I can’t say I’m too surprised considering how even the two teams are, aside from the fact that they sport nearly identical overall records (10-4 for PSU, 11-3 for Minny), both teams have been very competitive against the bigger-name opponents thus far. Minny hung tough in a six-point defeat at Michigan State while the Fighting DeChellises won at Illinois for the second straight time last Sunday.

Both teams also feature solid inside play, Geary Claxton and Jamelle Cornley lead PSU of course, while Dan Coleman (14.4 ppg, 6.3 rpg) and Spencer Tollackson (10.4 ppg, 4.5 rpg) will be a handful for us to handle inside.

In the backcourt department, I have to give the advantage to Danny Morrissey and the speedy point guard duo of Talor Battle/Stanley Pringle, all this despite the fact that Minnesota features a dyn-o-mite 3-point bomber who comes off their bench in Blake Hoffbarer. You might know Blake as a YouTube celebrity for his improbable “winning the state title while lying on his back” shot that inspired armchair point guards nationwide last year.

The advantage belongs to Tubby Smith in the coaching department, hands-down. I dunno how he recruited so poorly at Kentucky, but there is no denying that he gets the most out of his players. The fact that he already has 11 wins with practically the same Minnesota squad that failed to reach double digits in wins last season is a credit to Tubby’s coaching ability and perhaps a sign that he was under appreciated in Lexington.

Still, I’m going to pick PSU to cover the spread and pull a Tom Emanski (back-to-back-to-back) in Big Ten winning streaks for the first time since the Bryce Jordan Center was brand new and major music acts would show up to play (as opposed to the shitty country arists and third-rate pop-rock bands like Nickelback showing up these days). This has to do with the fact that I’m totally drinking the blue and white kool-aid after back-to-back road wins plus the fact that we’re undefeated in the BJC and I don’t want to see that come to an end tomorrow.

We’ll see what Rants From The District decides to do with his pick, but to recap the standings in the contest:

Happy Hour Valley 5-0

Rants From The District 4-1

Also, here’s a few other picks from some bigger games in college hoops:

  • I’m taking UNC (-20) and the points over NC State right now. Tyler Hansbrough has been flat-out unstoppable (see: dunking past the Jolly Green Giant) and the Tar Heels also feature dangerous perimeter shooters such as Wayne Ellington should teams decide to focus their defensive tenacity on Hansbrough. Look for UNC to force the tempo early against a Wolfpack team that wants to slow things down
  • I like UConn (+10) to beat the spread, but not beat Georgetown. Georgetown’s just way too talented/disciplined for the Huskies to take them out, particularly on the road. Look for a quality battle in the paint between UConn’s Hasheem “We Got” Thabeet (eat your heart out, Chris Berman) and GTown’s Roy Hibbert,.
  • Kansas (-10.5) will beat Nebraska in Lincoln, though I like Nebraska to beat the spread. KU is just a flat-out better team that is currently clicking on all cylinders and features five different players average 10+ ppg scoring but I like the Huskers with their newfound home-court advantage (they already upset Oregon at home earlier this season) to keep things interesting to the very end. Aleks Maric will be a beast down low for the Cornhuskers, who are looking to give fans something to cheer about after a clusterfuck of a football season.

Time For A Morbid Joke

January 10, 2008

Anyone think this might resemble the scene in Happy Valley on the day JoePa kicks the bucket?


“Houts” and About

January 9, 2008

It’s official: “Mom and pop” stores in State College are now extinct. O.W. Houts is closing its doors after 88 years in business.

I can probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve been to Houts. This is probably due to the fact that State College opened its first Wal-Mart when I was only in first grade, and Houts was basically Wal-Mart w/furniture afterwards.   Not to mention, prices were much cheaper at Wal-Mart.

However, I’m sure that about as recently as 20-25 years ago Houts used to be THE PLACE for State College residents to get their hardware, office materials, groceries, and other supplies. Back then, there were no Wal-Marts or Lowes or Office Depots for people to go to, just the local businesses…At least, that’s how I seem to recall things back in the late 80’s. Perhaps any of you older alums/State College residents who might be reading this could fill me in?