Big Ten Power Rankings (Week 4)

Well, it looks like the traveling shit-show that is our football team’s off the field problems continues to move along. LaschOut is reporting that multiple players will be suspended for a fight that took place at the HUB this past weekend.

I’ve already commented on the fragile state of the program so I really have nothing left to say except, “Please Tom Cruise, make it stop!”

So, to summarize this year’s events, we’ve got thus far:

1. Apartment-Gate

2. Quarless and Harriott out til 4 AM while Underage Drinking-Gate

3. Sexual Assault-Gate

4. Scott-Gate (Possibility this could merge with #3?)

5. Another Underage Drinking-Gate

6. HUB-Gate

Now, before I slit my wrists, let’s get to my latest edition of the Big Ten Power Rankings.

1. Ohio State (1) – Just like Jim Tressel and his sweatervest, this team is not going to “Wow” anybody but they play consistently solid football and do all the little things right (minimize turnovers, methodically march the ball downfield, play great defense) which at the end of the day, is all that matters because the Buckeyes have walked away with another capital W.

2. Illinois (6) – “Believe it Sparky!” The Illini are THAT good. They’ve got playmakers on both sides of the football (J. Leman and Vontae Davis on defense along with Juice Williams, Rashard Mendenhall, and Arrelious Benn on offense) and they’re out to prove to the rest of the Big Ten that they are not a bunch of pretenders.

3. Michigan (3) – Sleepwalking through another opponent is the reason I didn’t bump the Wolverines to the #2 spot. That, and Chad Henne throwing 1 TD and 2 INTs against Eastern Michigan. We’ll see how they handle Purdue’s version of the spread offense this weekend.

On the bright side, there’s always a career in fashion for Chad Henne

4. Wisconsin (2) – You can only be a “Cardiac Kids” team for so long until you finally flat-line. That’s exactly what happened to the Badgers this weekend at Illinois. They have no run defense and if you can contain PJ Hill, they are in trouble. To make matters worse, one of their top receivers, Luke Swan, is out for the year with a torn hamstring. I will actually attempt to do a preview of our upcoming game against the Badgers later this week so stay tuned for further details.

5. Penn State (8) – Yes, it was Iowa, but at least we have the comfort of knowing that we are a better team in the comfort of Beaver Stadium where we’ve won 18 of our last 19 games. Most importantly, we seem to have found a quality tailback in Evan Royster. Despite Kinlaw’s performance, Royster should still be getting a good portion of the carries, the kid was on a roll before he injured his thigh.

6. Purdue (5) – Just like I thought, Purdue went up against a solid defense and got soundly beaten. I don’t know why so many people on the message boards continue to say that we’re likely to lose to these guys, especially since Purdue’s defense isn’t all that great either.

7. Indiana (7) – Almost like a Purdue clone, except they have a mobile QB in Kellen Lewis running the spread offense. I’m still waiting to see what they can do against the better half of the conference.

8. Northwestern (10) – Kudos to the Wildcats for being college football’s amnesiacs. The same team ended Duke’s losing streak has now played well two weeks in a row, and it paid off with a dramatic OT win at Michigan State this past Saturday.

9. Michigan State (4) – Just when I was starting to lose hope, the signs of the “Sparty Collapse” were shown. Yup, all is right once again in the world of Big Ten football. And what about that Michigan State “D” that looked improved? They allowed Northwestern QB C.J. Bacher to set a school record with 520 passing yards for 5 TDs and gave up 48 points in the process, pure XBox360 numbers (I don’t own a Playstation). Thanks for playing, and better luck next year.

The annual “Sparty Collapse” is officially underway
10. Iowa (9) – We’ll let our good friends at Disney describe to you in one word, the state of Iowa’s season.

11. Minnesota/Minnesota’s uniforms (11) – Boy, it sure does feel like the mid-90’s again as the Golden Gophers are strongly holding up the rear.


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