Emerging From The Rubble…

Talk about ruining a weekend…how many teams would have gotten AT LEAST one touchdown after starting with the football four times in a row in Illinois territory? I’ll give you the answer: any team that doesn’t have a QB who still makes the same dumb decisions as a 2nd-year starter as he did last year and is coached by an equally incompetent coaching staff. But that’s exactly what happened, we came away with a whopping 3 points. Pathetic.

While the play-calling was admittedly better than last week (we finally let Morelli air it out), we still set ourselves back with some absolute WTF calls, namely the 3rd&Goal pitch to Rodney Kinlaw when we had the ball at the ONE FUCKING YARD LINE!!! Are you kidding me?!! Just punch the damn ball in the end zone! It was no secret what we were about to run in that instance. As the “Angry Video Game Nerd” would say: Our offense is a shitload of fuck! It’s time to start anew at home next week against a depleted Iowa team by giving Pat Devlin his first career start, time to start preparing for the future. Oh, and somebody lock Jay Paterno in a dark room with a PS3 before every game so he doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of screwing Devlin up either.

The Angry Video Game Nerd would rather watch PSU football than play another one of his shitty games.

PSU’s loss was merely one of many Top 25 casualties in what has marked yet another wild college football weekend which I feel I need to recap so as the late Bill Hicks would say: “Bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow through this shit one more time.”

– #5 West Virgina went down Friday night to #18 South Florida who is my favorite to win the Big East. “All aboard” the Matt Grothe Express! (Don’t worry: Jake Locker is still my homeboy)

– #3 Florida lost on a last-second field goal to Auburn…twice. Urban Meyer called a timeout and was awarded it, right as the Auburn kicker put the 43-yarder through the uprights. No problem though, as the kicker’s apparently got frozen Gatorade running through his veins.

-How about #7 Texas getting annihilated at home by Kansas State? I wonder if Anthony Morelli has any relatives down in Austin because Colt McCoy sure was putting up similar TD to INT stats (1 TD, 4 INTs).

– Most shocking of all though, was #5 Oklahoma losing on a last-second FG to Colorado…after seemingly having the game in hand with a 24-7 second-half lead. This is the same OU team whose average margin of victory was higher than a certain PSU player’s IQ. It’s crazy, it’s insane, it’s unbelievable, “IT’S DIVISON ONE FOOTBALL!”

A Few Final Notes:

  • As bad as things have been: At least we’re not Pitt (44-14 shellacking against Virginia), or Notre Dame (0-5, with UCLA, Boston College, and USC all coming up next). If their Scout.com message board posts are any indication, it appears Pitt fans have just now gotten the memo on Dave Wannstedt’s inability to coach.

  • Did Minnesota take notes from Oregon on how to dress for a football game with an entire piss-yellow wardrobe? How about Washington sporting Golden-Domer helmets with seemingly dark-blue unis and gold pants? Is Ty Willingham trying to send a message to Notre Dame?
  • Props go out to “Real Ultimate Badass” J. Leman’s judo-chop that denied Andrew Quarless a go-ahead and momentum-shifting TD reception. Similar props also go out to Arrelious Benn for making our special teams/defense look as skilled as the CPU in Nintendo’s 10-Yard Fight.
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3 Responses to Emerging From The Rubble…

  1. Now, I realize that in last night’s article on The Nittany Turkey, I might have gone a bit overboard speculating that the Nittany Lions’ record could wind up 5-7 this year; however, I have to say that, with respect to our crappy offense, a leaderless team, like a rudderless ship, could end up drifting just about anywhere, including running aground on the rocky shore of mediocrity.

    Keep up the good articles!

    —TNT

  2. Cat Puncher says:

    You gotta love J. Leman… talk about a guy who can’t possibly give a rat’s ass what people think about him.

    Still, Quarless needed to catch that ball clean… Morelli’s only pass that was right on the money. Had he not been juggling it, Leman wouldn’t have been able to knock it out.

  3. I’ve only seen the replay a couple times, but to me it looked like Quarless had a clean catch. Leman simply made an amazing defensive play that killed PSU’s best shot at winning the game.

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