Meet the latest “Doogie Howser” in Brittney Exline. At 15, she’s making her collegiate debut at the University of Pennsylvania. Like every other baby genius who starts college early, she’s not your typical bookworm, winning many “Outstanding Young Teen” type of competitions and being involved in dance and choir concerts.
Probably the best line of the article reads: “She said she doesn’t really notice the age gap between herself and her 17- and 18-year-old peers — and neither do they.” Sure, they won’t notice…until Chris Hansen secretly records a conversation between an unsuspecting frat brother trying to lure her upstairs to his room and confronts him with the Dateline NBC cameras on hand.
Chris Hansen: So, care to explain to me what you were doing?
Humiliated Frat Boy: Oh, I was just gonna take her up to my room and chat.
CH: With a six-pack of Natty Light and a pair of condoms?
HFB: Ah, no bra, these are for my roommate!
CH: Riiiight…and I’m the anchor of the “Today” show.
Chris Hansen is watching you.
Going back to football: One thing that I neglected to mention regarding Appalachian State’s victory over Ivan Drago, what in the hell was App State’s coach thinking kicking the field goal with 30 seconds left? His team had a first-and-goal situation with more than enough time to run the ball towards the middle (and not kick from the left hash mark) and spike the ball with less than 10 seconds left, practically ensuring that Michigan would have to revert to their 2005 Alamo Bowl trickery in order to win the game. The first thing that came out of my mouth after App State kicked the field goal was that Michigan had enough time to get a miracle pass play to Mario Manningham and set up the winning field goal, which sure enough happened. Now that most of us are over the initial shock/happiness over App State’s upset, let’s not forget just how close they were from being applauded for a moral victory.
I also screwed up in one of my previous columns with regards to comparing Kerry Collins with Anthony Morelli because I wasn’t specific enough. Like Morelli, Collins was also a highly touted QB from PA and like Morelli, he had a cannon of an arm. Much like Morelli, Collins took his lumps during his first year as a starter in 1993 despite having the natural ability, sparking fans to start bashing him, much like they did to Morelli last year. The following year, Collins quarterbacked an offense that broke 14 different school records and averaged an incredible 48 ppg on its way to a Rose Bowl victory and yet another undefeated, unrewarded, season. While I don’t look for the offense to break any school records, Morelli is starting to show signs of playing to his full potential as well: His accuracy’s improved, and his leadership’s improved, but most importantly his game smarts have improved as well, he seems to do a better job not staring down the primary receiver and apparently he’s being trusted enough to call audibles these days. Those are the signs of a quality QB.