Only In Central PA…

Being that there’s nothing really noteworthy regarding off-season talk, I figured I’d provide you with a couple amusing articles I dug up from my local and college newspapers.

First, some poor sap got pulled over for a DUI the other day…On a riding lawnmower.

State police at Clearfield were called to a report of an intoxicated man riding a lawnmower on state Route 53 between Osceola Mills and Houtzdale about 6:30 p.m. Police said they found William Edward Krause, 45, of Ramey, riding his Craftsman II 14 HP lawnmower on Sterling Road in Woodward Township, Clearfield County. He was under the influence of alcohol, police said.

The video below probably gives you a good visual description of how everything might’ve played out.

Also, the top story in yesterday’s Daily Collegian involved one State College resident having a very shitty time (literally).

I have to give props to the reporter for a giving a rather detailed account of what happened:

John O’Brien began his day yesterday with his pants around his ankles, scrambling for cover as a fountain of sewer water and waste erupted into his bathroom.
“I was doing my business, sitting on my toilet, and the toilet blew sewer water into my butt,” he said.

The unlucky resident also offered some words of wisdom that makes us men all want to say “Right on, brother!”

The State College resident started his day the way he always does. He woke up, drank a cup of coffee, grabbed a book and relaxed on his porcelain throne — “The toilet is where a man does his best thinking,” O’Brien said.

I myself, have come up with quite a few ideas for this blog while dropping the Cosby Kids off at the pool. Though I’ve never actually attempted to simultaneously write a blog post and handle my business at the same time.

If it’s as cool though as the dude above makes it seem, I’ll have to give it a shot…

In Soviet Russia, Mattress Lies On You!

Even though the Cold War ended two decades ago, the Russians continue to discover new ways of killing somebody and it looks like couches are the current weapon of choice.

ST PETERSBURG – A Russian woman in St. Petersburg killed her drunk husband with a folding couch, Russian media reported on Wednesday.

St. Petersburg’s Channel Five said the man’s wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.

The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space. The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch, Channel Five quoted emergency workers as saying.

Here’s the real kicker, though:

The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband.

You know who else mistakenly thought their dead companion was just “real nice and quiet?” That blind kid in Dumb and Dumber. That scene was pretty fucking funny..and so is killing your alcoholic spouse with a couch. At least they won’t have to tape the husband’s head back on to portray the illusion that he’s still alive.

Polly want a cracker?

Because We Just Can’t Resist Message Board Fodder…

Meet the latest opposing team prediction that’s got the FOS message boards searing with Blue&White colored anger: An Oregon State writer on Scout.com is *gasp* predicting that the Beavers will waltz into Beaver Stadium, eat us out and then hop on a plane back to Corvallis with post-thumping cigarettes in their mouths, never to call us again.

Naturally, such a scathing article deserves a closer look to see if it’s as biased and ignorant as said message board posters claim:

Much of the fanfare surrounding Penn State is based on the premise they return so many players (9 offense, 8 defense) from a 9-4 bowl team.

Okay, nothing wrong here thus far. Moving on now…

But a closer look at their record shows they lost to a 7-6 Michigan State team, barely beat average Purdue and Indiana squads and needed late heroics to hold off a Texas A&M team in disarray after season long controversy.

Well, two can play at this game! Oregon State got shellacked by a 6-7 UCLA team (in Corvallis, nonetheless), barely beat a 7-6 Cal squad and a 4-9 Washington squad, not to mention they also needed 2 overtimes to beat a Dennis Dixon-less Oregon team that was in a tailspin.

Perhaps the best indicator of how things might go for Oregon St. when they visit us on Sept. 6 is the beatdown Cincinatti gave them the last time they set foot on the Eastern side of the United States. Keep in mind, this was when Oregon St. still had their stud tailback Yvenson Bernard and the 8 departed defensive starters that will need replacing this year.

Now, comes the all-out assault on our personnel:

And the ‘08 Penn State offense has a number of rather large question marks surrounding it heading into the fall. First and foremost, the uncertainty at quarterback.

Neither Daryll Clark, (31 career passes) nor Pat Devlin (1 career pass) could win the starting job outright this spring. And neither could unseat former QB Anthony Morelli, a whipping boy for many Penn State fans the past two seasons, as the starter.

While he’s clearly wrong on this assessment, it’s hard to tear this writer a new one because many outsiders to the program are unaware of the gross nepotism and loyalty that our coaching staff possesses. JoePa stuck with Morelli all throughout the season for the purpose of not making it blatantly clear to the public that he doesn’t trust his inept, unqualified QB coach of a son, Jay. An outsider however, would naturally assume that such roadblocks don’t exist and that if Morelli was struggling so much that Clark and Devlin would have been given ample opportunity to unseat King Anthony.

And while there’s no sugar-coating the lack of career passes for Clark and Devlin, you have to figure that:

• Clark has proven his athleticism in key game situations (see: Alamo Bowl) and can at the very least scramble us out of trouble like Michael Robinson did a few years back if a passing play gets broken up.
• I have yet to read or hear about any knocks on either QB’s IQ levels or inability to read defenses

Ergo, it is certainly reasonable to play the “addition by subtraction” card with regards to the QB position.

But, wait! It only gets better…

Perhaps more telling is that Penn State is looking to implement some spread offense this season. More specifically, a hybrid shotgun spread with split backs.

The problem with all this is that teams who are successful the first year of an offensive overhaul are few, and those that are have the right personnel to make it work. The current makeup on the Penn State offense, for the most part, doesn’t fit the spread.

First of all, this won’t be the very first time that we employ a spread offense (see: 2005). Second, the first time we launched such an “overhaul” things ended up turning out alright as we finished 33rd in total offense (13th in rushing offense) so I guess that puts us amongst the so-called “few.” Basically, this is more like adjusting to our personnel as we’ll have a more athletic QB taking snaps this year and the last time we had such a specimen under center we ran a spread offense and it worked, so why the hell not go back to a spread?

As for that second paragraph of keyboard diarrhea: If having a scrambling QB along with a proven tailback (Evan Royster), speedy-enough receivers, and an ENTIRE O-LINE RETURNING equates to not having the personnel to run a spread offense, then I guess the writer has a point…

So, what does our Eager Beaver Buddy conclude about PSU’s offense?

PENN STATE LAST SEASON ran the ball 528 times while attempting 415 passing attempts. And in looking at play selection in the opening 15 minutes and adding it all up, Penn State ran it more than they passed it in the first quarter. The passing game ranked No. 75 out of 119 teams.

Bottom line, outside of Happy Valley, all the talk this offseason about the spread smacks more of desperation than it does innovation. If Oregon State brings pressure to slow the Nittany Lion running game, if they dare Penn State’s quarterback beat them, things augur well for the black and orange.

Again, it’s not desperation, it’s utilizing the talent you have on your roster and adjusting to it. Morelli was ill-equipped to run a spread offense with his immobility and mental capacity of the Scarecrow from the “Wizard Of Oz” that led to him throwing costly INTs in clutch situations.

And if Oregon State wants to dare a QB like Daryll Clark to beat them then I say “Go right ahead.” Not that it’ll get to that point though because my money is on our veteran O-line getting Moses on the Beavers’ brand-spankin’ new D-line and opening up Red Sea-sized holes for our ball carriers to get through.

And now, a rebuttal to my D-line theory:

OSU was No. 1 in the nation in run defense last year. But that was last year, and they lost a lot off that D — the entire starting front seven to be specific.

But keep in mind that Mike Riley and Mark Banker used a rotation of 10 — yes, 10 — players on the line last year. Returnees Slade Norris and Victor Butler looked like world beaters this spring, and tackle Pernnell Booth is expected at full strength for fall camp.

JC transfer defensive tackle Stephen Paea was one of the best and biggest surprises of the Beavs’ spring. And Kevin Frahm and Carl Sommer showed they could be ready to join this year’s rotation up front and do some of what the depth did last year.

Meanwhile, The Men in Black have been cranking out All Pac-10 linebackers the past decade and this spring showed the Beavs again have some real playmakers at ‘backer. Detractors will note, correctly, that they do not however have starting experience. But they sure didn’t look like it this spring.

Okay, the D-line of Oregon St. had depth last year and should still be rather talented this year despite having all-new starters, thanks in part to a heavy rotation Mike Riley utilized last season. However, the trip to Happy Valley will mark the first start in a road game against a meaningful opponent for 8 of the Beavers’ defensive starters. Usually, those types of games don’t bring out the best performance from such inexperienced players.

As for the touting of the linebackers, well…you’re talking to “Linebacker U” here. “All-Conference?” Try “All-American” for us!

Last but not least of course, is the critique of our receivers…

THE PENN STATE RECEIVERS are a good bunch, but the amount of superlatives being tossed their way this offseason might be a stretch. For starters, the WR talk was similarly buoyant last year, and it failed resoundingly to pan out.

They’re a fairly solid group, don’t get me wrong. But WR Derrick Williams, who will move back to the slot this year, has never fulfilled the promise of a 5-star prospect rated No. 3 in the nation. You might expect such a highly rated player to lead his team in receiving yards by his junior year but that honor went to Deon Butler in ‘07 — and he had only 633 receiving hashes.

The Beaver secondary recently lost Bryan Payton but OSU, frankly, still matches up very well here.

It’s rather hard to rip this whole section apart as I certainly have to concede that the receivers have not lived up to the ginormous hype they’ve received the past couple of preseasons. Not to mention that according to Phil Steele’s magazine, the 3 returning starters on defense for Oregon St. are both their CB’s and one of their safeties.

With that being said however, I see us establishing a solid rushing attack with our O-line opening up holes for Evan Royster and Co. to set up the passing game which in turn, will find ways to make some magic happen against an already tired Beaver defense.

Certainly, everyone is entitled to their opinion/prediction on how a game will go and I am not bashing the writer for predicting that Oregon St. will somehow get the upset, I’d probably do the same thing if I were in his shoes. However, it is important to realize that the writer makes a huge mistake in underestimating the fact we’ve got the personnel to run an efficient spread offense and that the writer overlooks the fact that Oregon State has had recent troubles performing on the East Coast.

With that being said, I very much look forward to what should be an intriguing contest come September 6th…

Seymour Hersh To The Rescue…

Not sure what to make of this news suggesting the U.S. is launching covert operations in Iran, but if it’s true, it sure as hell is scary considering the fact our military is already spread thin enough as it is in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Maybe it won’t matter though, since Earth may get sucked into a black hole before the Bush Administration gets to leave its final indelible mark.

Your Moment Of Zen

You know, all of this past week’s criticism of Jay Paterno blogging about Barack Obama when he should be busy implementing his “Spread HD” offense got me thinking of another disaster that plagued the Democratic party 20 years ago.

I’m talking of course, about Michael Dukakis’ infamous “tank pose” photo in response to criticism from Bush Sr. that he was “too soft on defense.” Such a stunt (along with allowing some murderer named Willie Horton free weekend passes out of prison and responding “No” in a very non-chalant fashion when asked during a CNN debate whether he would support the death penalty if somebody were to rape and kill his wife) resulted in a total backfire and Dukakis was eaten up like PSU’s secondary in the latter half of last season come election night, 1988.

They say that “history repeats itself.” Well, for cripe’s sake, I sure hope that repetitive moment won’t be arriving anytime soon…

YES…WE…CAN!!!

JayPa Shoots His Eye Out (Again)

As I mentioned in a recent post, Jay Paterno decided that sabotaging PSU football wasn’t enough and thus has started up a blog on Barack Obama’s website.

Well, it seems like the Jay-bashers have gotten a whiff of the stench emanating from the nether-regions of “YES WE CAN-ville” and have left him quite a few words of wisdom in the “Comments” section of one his more recent blog posts.

Because there’s so many comments (43 as of the time of this writing) and they’re all so goddamned hilarious to the point where Yours Truly was practically in tears, I’ll leave you with just a tasty sample of what you can expect:

Here’s a post from a rather pissed-off Galen Hall. How pissed off was he? More pissed off than the time Jay left a burning bag of dog poop on his front doorstep.

By Galen from State College, PA Jun 20th 2008 at 1:58 pm EDT

Jay,What are you doing responding on a stupid blog at 10:02 am???

We were scheduled to go over some offensive schemes at 9:45.

I swear, you are lucky you have blood-ties to Coach Paterno, you snivelling little buffoon. I don’t know why I bother even showing up for meetings with you anymore. All you do is stare at the TV screen playing some nonsense football video game, yammering about “one more touchdown and I get the high score.”

Kid, I have no idea what this program is in for when your father retires, but I pray it has NOTHING in the cards with your hand in it. Next thing you know, you’ll be making the team practice in tie-dyes and sing Koombayah before you have a “teambuilding” activity like a flag-burning.

Asking a recruit if he’s registered to vote and if he is a Democrat or Republican is NOT an effective recruiting tool either, you snot.

My blood pressure is rising, time for my afternoon nap.

Jay even did a little sparring with a fellow poster who suggested he spend more time improving a disgustingly mediocre offense instead of blogging about Obama.

By Joe Eb from York, PA Jun 20th 2008 at 9:52 am EDT
And Jay you should be worrying about the offense of a college football team that has a LOT of questions, not blogging about Obama.

By Jay Paterno Jun 20th 2008 at 10:02 am EDT
For your information our offense was #1 in the Big Ten last year in the only two categories that we really look at: the key situations of Red Zone and Third Downs (and to a lesser extent 4th downs where we ranked #7 in the nation).

…And to a lesser extent, #8 in the Big Ten in Passing Offense (You are a fucking QB COACH after all, Jay), #5 in Rushing Offense, #7 in Total Offense, #8 in Pass Efficiency, and #1 in Penalties.

Ah, who the hell am I kidding? Such stats are meaningless when you’re desperately trying to establish yourself as more than just a “Daddy’s Boy” who’s as qualified to coach QBs as I am to fly an F-16.

RESPECT MY AUTHORI-TAH!!!!

Click here to continue laughing

Lies and The Lying Liars Who Spread Them on Message Boards

As many of you Penn Staters might know, there’s been “rumors on the internets” circulating out there on the scale level of the Barack Obama e-mail lies. Such rumors appear to relish in the task of pointing out all the legal problems Penn State football has faced since 2002.

Why start with 2002? I don’t know, either this list was put together in 2007 and was meant to highlight PSU’s problems over the past 5 years or the anonymous person (from what I’ve heard, it’s a Pitt fan with an axe to grind) who put this list together decided that 2002 was as far back as he/she needed to go in order to try and pathetically label PSU as a “thug program.”

Well, “mission accomplished” pal: ESPN’s “Outside The Lines” is set to do a flaming bag of dog poo story on these incidents in an effort to emphasize that PSU lacks institutional control.

Anyway, here’s the said list in its entirety:

PENN STATE PLAYERS ARRESTED SINCE 2002

1. Maurice Humphrey – Arrest, Assault & Prison – Guilty

2. Maurice Humphrey – Probation Violation – Guilty

3. Maurice Humphrey – Fake ID Probation Violation – Guilty

4. Tyler Reed – Drunk in Public Summary Charge – Guilty

5. Andrew Richardson – Drunk in Public Summary Charge – Guilty

6. Rashard Casey – Arrest, Assault, – Dismissed

7. Anwar Phillips – Arrest, Assault, – Dismissed

8. T.C. Cosby – Arrest, Assault, – Acquitted

9. Michael Robinson – Ice-Rink Fight – Summary Charge

10. Lavon Chisley – Arrest, Sexual Assault, – Dismissed

11. Paul Jefferson – Drunk In Public Summary Charge – Guilty

12. Ed Johnson – Ice-rink fight Summary Charge – Guilty

13. Matthew Rice – Ice-rink fight – Summary Charge – Guilty

14. John Bronson, Arrest, Assault – Dismissed

15. Jeremy Kapinos – Drunk in public – Summary Charge

16. Tom McHugh – Hitting a woman – Summary Charge

17. Tony Johnson – Arrest, DUI – Guilty

18. Richard Cheek – Arrest, Stolen Credit Card – Guilty

19. Yaacov Yisreal – DUI – Guilty

20. Dan Drogan – DUI Leaving Accident – Guilty

21. Dethrell Garcia – DUI – Guilty

22. Scott Paxson – Criminal Mischief, Summary Charge – Guilty

23. E.Z. Smith – Drunk in public – Summary Charge – Guilty

24. R.J. Luke – Arrest Assault – Acquitted

25. Damone Jones – Unknown Charges – Dismissed From School

26. Mike Sothern – Terroristic Disorderly Criminal Mischief – Guilty

27. Mike Sothern – Criminal Mischief Expelled – Guilty

28. EZ Smith – Criminal Mischief Summary Charge – Guilty

29. Scott Paxson – Criminal Mischief Summary Charge – Guilty

30. Tyler Reed – Criminal Mischief Summary Charge – Guilty

31. Andrew Richardson – Criminal Mischief Summary Charge – Guilty

32. Ed Johnson – Sexual Misconduct Arrest – Guilty

34. Dan Connor – Criminal Mischief Phone Summary Charge – Guilty

35. Nolan MCready – Criminal Mischief Phone Summary Charge – Guilty

36. Jim Kanuch – Criminal Mischief Summary Phone Charge – Guilty

37. Paul Cronin – Drunk In Public Summary Charge – Guilty

38. Scott Paxson – Sexual Assault & Aggravated Indecent Charge – Guilty

39. Francis Claude – Arrest At Bar Disorderly Conduct – Guilty

40. Ed Johnson – Failed Drug Test Condition of Parole – Guilty

41. Lavon Chisley – Murder Charge – Guilty Life Sentence

42. Anthony P. Scirrotto – Burglary, criminal trespass, criminal solicitation, simple assault, harassment. – Trial Pending

43. Chris I. Baker – Burglary, criminal trespass criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment.

44. Jerome A. Hayes – Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. – Dismissed

45. Justin King – Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment. – Dismissed

46. Tyrell A. Sales – Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment – Dismissed

47. Lydell R. Sargeant – Criminal trespass, disorderly conduct, harassment – Dismissed

48. Andrew Quarless – Underage Drinking – Guilty

49. Willie Harriot – Underage Drinking – Guilty

50. Austin Scott – Rape, Drugs – Trial

51. Joe Suhey – Underage Drinking – Guilty

52. Ryan Breen – Underage Drinking – Guilty,

53. Joe Paterno – Road Rage – No Charges

54. Chris Baker – Felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, – Pending.

55. Navarro Bowman – Felony aggravated assault, simple assault, disorderly conduct, summary harassment and stalking, – Pending.

56. Knowledge Timmons – Disorderly conduct and defiant trespass – Pending

57. Tyrell Sales – Under age drinking 2008 – Pending

58. Chris Bell Dismissed from the team off the field issues and academics

59. Phillip Taylor Dismissed from the team off the field issues and academics

60. Andrew Quarless Suspended, charged with DUI.

61. Chris Bell Dismissed from the team for threatening a teammate with a knife in team dining room.

On paper, it’s quite the lengthy rap sheet, one that rivals Barry Switzer’s Oklahoma Sooners and Jimmy Johnson/Dennis Erickson’s Miami Hurricanes of the 1980’s/early 90’s…Little do people realize however, just how un-truthy and liarific this list truly is.

Luckily for us, our Chief Legal Correspondent: Run Up The Score, has done countless hours of research via google to set facts straight and clean up all the bullshit…much like the way in which George Carlin reduced the Ten Commandments down to only two.

Click here to read all about it

R. Kelly Faces The Music

The wait is finally over: After several years’ worth of delays, setbacks, and musical hits from Dave Chappelle, the R. Kelly trial got underway, and let us just say the atmosphere in the courtroom was well…I’m going to let you decide on the appropriate word of choice.

CHICAGO, Illinois (CNN) — The judge ordered the courtroom lights to be lowered and the blinds drawn. And then, the 25-minute sex tape at the heart of the R. Kelly child pornography case played Tuesday before a packed house: a Chicago courtroom.
R&B superstar Kelly sat expressionless as the tape was played. He’s charged with 14 counts of child pornography and faces 15 years in prison if convicted.

Sketch artists were warned that if they drew any depiction of the acts on the tape, they, too, could be charged with child pornography.

Juror reactions were difficult to discern in the hushed and darkened courtroom.

Prosecutor Shauna Bolicker warned the jury in opening statements Tuesday that the “vile, disturbing and disgusting” video shows Kelly having sex with an underage girl. Bolicker told jurors they would see the “crime unfold … frame by ugly frame” in the video, which she said was “choreographed, produced, and starring Robert Kelly.”

Defense attorney Sam Adam Jr. countered that even the FBI, “the same people chasing bin Laden … cannot identify Mr. Kelly as being on the tape.”

Shouting at times, Adams told the jury that it is not Kelly on the tape and that the girl was “a paid, professional prostitute.”

On the tape, the man’s face is seen only in profile, but the face of the alleged underage girl is plainly visible. At times she appears bored, and she rarely speaks, except when the man tells her to call him “Daddy.”

After a variety of sex acts including oral sex, masturbation and urination, the video ends with the man appearing to tenderly wipe the girl off with a towel and then hand her some money.

Kelly, 41, is accused of videotaping himself having sex with an underage girl who prosecutors maintain was as young as 13 when the tape was made between January 1, 1998, and November 1, 2000. The trial has been delayed by legal maneuvering for nearly six years.

The alleged victim, now 23, denies that she’s the girl in the video. Kelly has denied that he is the man depicted in the tape.

The trial has been delayed repeatedly since the tape was mailed to the Chicago Sun-Times in 2002. The newspaper turned it over to authorities, and Kelly was indicted that year.

The defense asserts that Kelly has a “significant” mole in the middle of his lower back that has been there since childhood. But he said the man on the tape did not have the mole.

“There is no mole on his back,” Adam said. “Robert isn’t that man on the tape.”

Kelly won a Grammy in 1997 for the gospel-tinged “I Believe I Can Fly” and is also known for songs such as “Bump N’ Grind,” “Ignition” and “Trapped in the Closet,” a multi-part saga about the sexual secrets of a lively and ever-expanding cast of characters.

So, to recap:
- We’re not certain just how many of the 12 jurors were chillin’ Stanley Pringle-style during the showing of the video. However, there were several eyewitness reports of “smacking sounds” heard coming from the general vicinity of the juror’s box.

- Both the “victim” and R. Kelly himself deny that they’re the people in the video, which really throws a wrench into the prosecution’s case since they now have to figure out whether both R. Kelly and the victim are mutually refusing to cooperate, or if they are both in fact, telling the truth.

- R.Kelly is NOT “The Mole”

- To convince me that R. Kelly is indeed guilty, I’d have to see a video of him singing “Piss On You,” two forms of government ID, a police officer there to verify the whole thing, four or five of our buddies taking notes, and R. Kelly’s grandma to confirm his identity.

They Just Had To Go There, Didn’t They?

College basketball season doesn’t tip off for another 5 months, but the pot-stirrers are not wasting any time to come out of the wood work.

For example, SI.com columnist George Dohrmann recently wrote an article in which he singles out four different BCS conference schools as “no-win situations” for any basketball coach. Guess who’s featured in it?

PENN STATE: The Nittany Lions have been to the NCAA tournament once (2001) in the past decade, and 12-year-old Bryce Jordan Center is cold and characterless. “Most people will say Northwestern is the worst job in the Big Ten, but no one [there] thinks they should be consistent winners, so the pressure’s not that bad,” says one coach. “Penn State, because of its football success, believes it should [also] be good at basketball.”

I just have one thing to say to you, Mr. Dohrmann:

HOW’S THAT FOR COLD AND CHARACTERLESS?!!!

Unfortunately, This Won’t Result In Any “Fulmer Cup” Points

Looks like Gerald Smith, a former wide receiver from the “dark years” is finally making up for his inability to hold onto footballs by holding on to large amounts of “blow.”

Former PSU football player faces drug charges

By Pete Bosak

BELLEFONTE — A former Penn State wide receiver waived felony cocaine delivery charges onto Centre County Court for trial prior to a scheduled preliminary hearing Wednesday.

Gerald Smith, who played wide receiver and spent some time at defensive back from 2000-04, was caught by a State College undercover police officer with 123 grams of cocaine — with an estimated street value of about $12,000 — during an operation in September, according to court documents.

Smith, 26, of 2430 W. Emaus Ave., Allentown, is charged with criminal conspiracy, possession with intent to deliver cocaine, possession of cocaine and criminal use of a communication facility, or using a cell phone to arrange a drug deal.

For more details, see tomorrow’s Centre Daily Times.

From the looks of this, it seems Gerald may have a whole lot more to worry about than just booing/badmouthing by fans on message boards the next time he drops something while in prison…